Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
