I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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