I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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