Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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