did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize