I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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