somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize
