We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
