and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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