No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
