i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize