The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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