therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
this will be a night to untag.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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