take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She bit a glass in half.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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