His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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