Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
