im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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