Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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