I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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