Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
false alarm, still single
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize