I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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