I puked a lego.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
