It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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