i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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