You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
