That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
