but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
