# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
