I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
