bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize