I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
