Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
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You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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