By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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