At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize