I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
