I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
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