I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize