i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
