They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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