why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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