Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I have feelings that need drinking.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
