i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
