You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Drunk is not a location!
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
