I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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