Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
