Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
