I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
