I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
All the doctor said was why
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