Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
