How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize