I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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