Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
