sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
