You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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