I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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