I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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