I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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