so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
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you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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