actually, I'm a sock model
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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