just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
